Always expect the very unexpected

It is said that if you want to make God chuckle, try telling Him your plans.

Or better yet, tell Him what you expect tomorrow will bring. Case in point: When I awoke one Tuesday morning last month, I never thought I’d be in Romania for a funeral on Thursday.

And now, I’m writing this column from a hospital room in Arab, Alabama (A-Rab). Never thought I’d be here either. The emergency room doctor, a jovial young fellow, welcomed Frank and me to what he called, “Scant City General,” the term scant deriving from a smaller jug of moonshine than the standard gallon.

Once again, ironically, we were to attend a funeral, this time for our dear friend Wesley Rush in Guntersville. But we never made it. Instead, Frank slipped in the hotel bathroom and broke three ribs as well as collapsing his left lung.

Our plans and expectations definitely didn’t include hospitalization 330 miles from home.

So, EXPECTING we were only going to be gone for an overnight stay, we made a number of presumptive mistakes:
1) We brought the dog  
2) We only had one change of underwear 
3) We had only funeral clothes and what we wore for the drive there and back
4) We didn’t bring Frank’s list of medications or his insulin pump supplies
5) We didn’t bring our cell phone chargers, and ...
6) Worst of all, I left my comfortable shoes in Destin.

The price to be paid for making assumptions and not preparing for the unexpected can be pretty steep (foot blisters from cruel shoes, for example). Consequently, the last couple of days have been frustrating and very awkward. And who’s to blame? I just looked in the mirror and found the responsible party.

But in every ordeal, there are lessons to be learned as well as blessings to count.

Cleopatra is thoroughly enjoying her expensive stay in her own king-size bed at the Holiday Inn over-looking beautiful Lake Guntersville while I sit most of the day at the hospital. If we hadn’t brought her, I’d just sleep in the chair beside Frank’s bed and not need such nice accommodations for a spoiled rotten Beagle.

On another positive note, my youngest son drove from Woodstock, Georgia to the hospital to visit his dad and me. Since it’s only a two-hour trip, we got an unexpected blessing by seeing him for the first time since Christmas. Yet another piece of good fortune came in the form of a small but excellent rural hospital with professional and compassionate doctors, nurses, and staff.

So, if you ever break your ribs and collapse your lung in or around Alabama’s Sand Mountain area, go to the ER at Marshall Medical Center North (the “Scant City General” tag is only doctor humor).

Another ongoing blessing is knowing that our Destin First Baptist family in Christ loves us both, and that we are always assured a spot on the prayer chain. (I think Frank will surely make the top ten on this week’s list.)

But, what of the lessons learned?

Think twice before taking the dog on a short road trip, especially if you have a reliable sitter back home.
•Bring your comfy shoes on any trip, regardless of duration.
•Always travel with a list of your meds, including dosage information.
•Bring a full 7-day pill box, even if you think you’ll only be gone overnight.
•Bring one more change of clothes than you assume you’ll need.
•Don’t leave the cell phone chargers at home.
•AND, unless you enjoy washing underwear in a sink with hotel shampoo and then hanging it from a floor lamp over the air conditioner to dry, bring extra!

Besides, my mother always told me if I were ever to get into a horrible accident, she hoped I was at least wearing clean undies. Lesson learned, Mom.

I’ve probably amused the Master Planner a lot lately with my assumptions about tomorrow and my resulting lack of preparation for the “what ifs” in life, but through all my flapping about in disarray, He never forsakes me or removes His hedge of protection from me.

Thanks, God.

Mary Ready of Destin is a twice-retired English teacher and long-time area resident. Her columns are published on Saturdays.