Favorite memories of a father

Special to The Log

Capt. Ben Marler, my father, is the finest man I’ve ever known. Period!  

How would I describe my Father? From the time I was small and realized without a doubt who “daddy” was, I felt loved and protected. He was in charge of our home as most Greek/Irish men are, but made us realize our Mother was to be honored and cherished. He could be almost too careful with us, never allowing us to spend the night with anyone other than family. He prayed about anything remotely important before he gave us an answer. That was torture to a  preteen and then a teenager, but I knew how much he loved us and deep down wanted those boundaries.

He never meets a stranger, and though he has had a throat condition since I was about 12-years old which has made talking very difficult at times, he does his best to make friends and strangers feel important and almost always takes a minute or  more (wink) to tell them how much Jesus loves them.

He is 6-feet tall, tanned and strong, and his once black hair is now soft silver gray. He is in great shape due to never smoking or drinking ever and being active as a sportsman, (hunting and fishing). He is bold, compassionate and is of the highest moral character.

I remember as a child him saying “damn” once and then I heard a soft “Forgive me Lord”. That spoke volumes to me as his impressionable child. I knew my Father was aware that God was with him all the time and he wanted to please Him.

He loves clean jokes and meeting new people. Now that he has sold the family fishing business, he takes his smaller boat out to catch fish for friends that can’t get out there anymore and catch their own.

My favorite memories

I would have to say my favorite memories of my Father were watching him interact with people.

One time when I was about 5-years old, he accidentally cut a man off in traffic between Fort Walton and Destin.

The man pulled up beside us in a rage shaking his fist (a nicer gesture of the era). I slunk down in my seat hoping not to let the “mad man see me”.

To my surprise and pleasure, I heard my Father whisper so the man could read his lips, “I’m so sorry!”

I lifted my head to see the man’s reaction. His face had changed from anger to joy and he gave my Father a smile and a “that’s okay wave”.

As I looked up at my Father, I realized even at five-years old what a great man he was. He was being a peacemaker and it takes a real man to do that.

Another favorite memory was watching him hand out coffee and doughnuts on a freezing cold day to prisoners working in front of the Krispy Kreme in Fort Walton in the median. His heart grieved for the men. He had to ask the guard if it was OK and thankfully he was agreeable. My Father had a chance to witness God’s love to each man as he handed them a coffee and doughnut.

When he got in the car, my sister and I listened as he told us how those men hadn’t had great father’s like his and that if they had, they probably wouldn’t have been in jail. It hurt my father to see them bound in chains working. He saw them as the children they once were, not the criminals they had become. It taught me compassion.

There are so many memories, but I will finish with a few about our family fishing business that a lot of Destinites may remember.

Every afternoon Dad would shoot his bow and arrows into the hill across from our deep-sea fishing business as we waited for our boat to arrive. He would make a cardboard target that was shaped like a deer and draw a red circle in the middle.

Our customers and tourists passing by loved to watch Capt. Ben get a bull’s eye over and over. I bet something like that wouldn’t happen now along the harbor! (Oh ,the Destin I loved).

He also had a “stuffed bobcat” on a small log that was looking very fierce with teeth bared. He loved scaring the “tough” dogs around the docks with this bobcat making a tremendous growl and skaking of the bobcat. Some dogs could hardly get traction to get away, but would turn and yelp when they knew they were at a safe distance.

It was hilarious!

My final memory I would like to share would be when my grandfather passed away of a heart attack at only 59-years old. It was a shock to everyone, and my father was only 33.

I can remember seeing my Dad with his head hung in deep sorrow, and an elderly family friend consoling him saying “I will help you Ben”, because he knew my father would have to take over running the family business.

My grandfather was having his last boat built in Biloxi, Miss., when he died, (the “Her Majesty II”) and this made his passing so much harder.

On a freezing cold, very still, January night, five months later we stood on the dock and watched my uncle, Capt. Tom Marler, drive the new boat into our slip.

I stared at my father as he gazed upon my grandfather’s dream, and knew he must be in pain. But God is faithful and he did help my parents run that business wonderfully for 30 more years. They worked side by side giving God the glory for everything and used their time wisely we’ve been given on this earth.

He shared his testimony every morning before the boat left during his “fishing lesson”. Many, many people said a loved one became a believer after hearing “Capt. Ben talk about Jesus.”

He became affectionately known as ‘the preacher.’ He cared that the people caught fish and was genuinely upset if they had a bad day.

It was time for him to retire when people started saying “we don’t want the fish, just the experience.” It was hard to take for an old time Destin captain who knew how delicious and valuable the fish were. Regulation is for younger men, too, I think. He had done everything by the book, but was tired and ready for the next chapter in his life ... and his life has become one of continual service to our Lord and mankind.

Beth Marler Fife is the youngest daughter of Capt. Ben and Joan Marler.