Wonderful Things: I have gone astray like a lost sheep

I’m going to let you in on a little secret: Pastors, clergy, chaplains, etc. are just like you. When I say that pastors are just like you, what I mean is that ministers have the same struggles, the same fears, the same temptations and the same weaknesses and blind-spots as the rest of humanity. Preachers may have a different calling, but they share with everyone the same essential character.  We get angry.  We get impatient.  We can be greedy and self-centered.  In other words, we’re just like you.

I used to wonder whether this was really true about the writer of Psalm 119.  Have you ever looked at this Psalm?  It is the longest chapter in the entire Bible. Its 176 verses are dedicated to extolling how wonderful God’s commands are and how sweet it is to obey all the time.

To be honest, though I love this Psalm, the writer of Psalm 119 always seemed a distant figure to me — too far above me, loving and delighting in God’s word all the time.  Who can do that?  He did not seem to be familiar or sympathize with the struggles of a sinful man like me.  That is, until the last verse of this Psalm finally sank in one day.

Think about this: For 175 verses the writer of Psalm 119 has been praising God’s commands — talking about his delight in keeping them and knowing them and telling others about them. How will he end? What will be his final word? With what kind of triumph or exaltation will he bring this song to a close? Follow along with me:  “I have gone astray like a lost sheep; seek your servant, for I do not forget your commandments” (v. 176).

Wow. He is like me! Though he loves God’s word and delights to obey his commands, even he has times when his heart wanders from God’s path.  He has experienced what I have experienced. He speaks to wandering sheep like you and me.

Like a sheep straying from its flock, our wandering from God does not usually happen in one bound; rather it is one small step at a time.  A missed time in prayer or in the Word, absence from a Sunday worship, a little harmless flirtation with the things of the world, maybe even harboring a bit of bitterness or self-righteousness in our hearts — nothing big — just some little steps. Like a sheep wanders away drawn by a little clump of clover here and there. Then we turn around and look back, and we realize that we are lost. No longer do we sense the presence of our Good Shepherd. We have wandered far away.

But we do not want to be far away.  We long once more for the presence, protection and provision of our Shepherd. But how do we get back? Sheep are notoriously thick-headed creatures. They can’t find their way back once separated from their flock. Like sheep we lack the ability to find our way back. Every attempt ends in frustration. And that is when we learn what God wants us to learn: We cannot do it ourselves. We are reminded again of our powerlessness. We cannot even return to where we have been before and where we long to be. We have left behind the One who guides us along the paths of righteousness.

And that is when our serious bleating begins: Seek your servant! I cannot find the way back! Lord, please come and bring me back into Your presence again! Of course, that is what a Good Shepherd loves to do. He cares about His sheep (John 10:13-14).  He does not grow angry that we have wandered.  He does not say, “You got lost; you find your way back!” The Good Shepherd loves to seek and find His wandering sheep, when we cry out to Him.

Wandering is dangerous for defenseless sheep. But when we cry out to God, He will seek and find us. He will rescue us from the foolish paths that we embark upon. That is the miracle of God’s forgiveness and grace in Christ Jesus. 

The writer of Psalm 119 has my weaknesses, and he has known and declares the great mercy of God to wandering sheep like me.

James Calderazzo is pastor of Safe Harbor Presbyterian Church in Destin. He can be reached at safeharborpca@gmail.com.