A compilation of "knitting" puns — a few "purls" of wisdom.
Allow me to keep you in "stitches." May I pull the wool over your eyes?
OK. Let's get down to the knitty-gritty. Let me be a knit picker.
I saw a sewing store sign that read, “Deweknit.”
People have tried to explain the importance of needlework, but I don't get the point.
My needle addiction has led me to "hooking."
Are you a member of the Y.A.A? Yarn Addicts Anonymous.
Wool you please just let me knit in peace.
Behind every great knitter is a huge stash of yarn.
Baa, baa black sheep have "ewe" any wool?
Is it true that knitters send "wool done cards to each other?
When I'm knitting, I'm unraveling.
Yarn — a word to which the word enough does not apply.
I don't like to get personal, but are you a happy hooker?
Balls of wool like to take vacations so that they can unwind.
Christmas trees are bad at knitting. They are always dropping their needles.
Get the point?
I love to crochet. They say at the start it hooks you right in, but with knitting, you needle help.
I can't pearl. Only oysters know how to do that.
I guess you might say that with all these corny pun jokes on knitting that I am a knit wit.
All knitters have close knit families.
My dad bought my mom a car with cruise control and as she is driving down the highway she pulls out knitting needles and begins to knit. A highway patrol officer passes by and notices that she doesn't have her hands on the wheel. He pulls up close and yells, "pullover." And she replied, "No, it's a cardigan!"
Just after thimbles were invented, there was a major shortage. Many sewers got stuck without one.
My mother was always happy to be making a new pair of pants for me. Or at least, it seamed sew.
Sewers like playing with scissors just for the shear fun of it.
Saw a sign that read, “Criminal with sewing machine at large." This person seams to follow the same pattern in several towns, the police declared.
What has one eye and can't see? A needle.
I'm sew very happy to be writing this column.
But I am running out of "material,” so I had better stop.
Patrick McAlpine is a self-described “edutainer” and a Canadian Snowbird from Ottawa. Submit your jokes or smiles to firstname.lastname@example.org.