Maybe I will win a gold medal for my humor at these Olympics.

Saw three new books on the Olympics ... "The Olympic Trials" by Willy Qualify, "Winter Olympic Games" by Bob Sled; and "How to Win At The Olympics" by Vick Tori.

Skiing might be a winter sport, but some think of it as a "fall" sport.

Cross country skiing is one "hill" of a sport.

Did you see the sign during one of the cross country ski events that read, "May the course be with you."

Did you know that the "fastest" dinosaur Olympian was the PRONTO-SAURUS.

It will really be" hot" in the Olympic stands when the games are over because all the fans will be gone.

I am going to try cross country skiing, but I will try to find a small country.

Those poor old luge Olympians. Their lives are going downhill.

Really want to get "stoned?" Try curling. But, don't take it for granite.

The favorite hymn of curlers — "Rock of Ages."

Some of the curlers need to "brush" up on their tactics.

All those athletes who participated in the opening ceremonies were told to "Keep in Torch."

One fellow won a gold medal and then took it to be bronzed.

Those poor figure skaters. They are always on edge.

Did you get snow bored with all those events?

I guess ‘tis the ski-son to be jolly.

Olympiads — commercials for the games.

"I like the Olympics," Tom said gamefully.

As the hot dog exclaimed on the victory stand, "I'm the weiner."

Alpine skiing is very similar to toilet paper — they are the fastest way to the bottom.

Get that ride up the mountain to compete in skiing events is real up-lifting.

Some Olympic skiers went to France to train for the Olympics, but some of them said the French would not "Alp" them.

Women skiers like to "powder" their noses before the main event.

To some, cross country skiing makes golf courses finally have a real use.

Patrick McAlpine is a self-described “edutainer” and a Canadian Snowbird from Ottawa. Submit your jokes or smiles to