Eliot Mess and the audacity of a dope

“Pride goeth before destruction and haughty spirit before a fall.” — Proverbs 16:18

Now that we know more about Ashley Dupre, the hooker who Eliot Spitzer fancied, and her 15 minutes of fame is thankfully about over, we need to discuss what we have learned here.

The key lesson is that prosecutors should not be allowed to run for public office. If Mike Nifong's racially and politically charged prosecution of the Duke lacrosse team boys and now the rise and fall of Eliot Spitzer teach us anything, it is that politically ambitious prosecutors embarrass themselves and waste taxpayer money when they embark on selective, personal and political party-driven prosecution agendas.

Given that historically the prosecutors who do this get free publicity and eventually get elected, they have all the reason to selectively prosecute. Moreover, they get more press if they pursue the left-winged causes dear to the mainstream media’s bleeding-heart. Since media are the “press,” this is the vital component of a “press” conferences that these prosecutors so crave. In the case of Nifong it was race, and in the case of Spitzer it was anti-business.

The problem with laws is that they are written by lawyers. Then these confusing laws have to be interpreted by lawyers, who are paid $500 an hour to do so. Therefore, there is not a person among us who could not be indicted for violating antiquated statute at an agenda-driven prosecutor’s whim, especially with the troubling expansion of wiretaps that the feds fear mongered us into after 9/11.

Spitzer never won a white collar case in trial, and the results of his crusades only served to complicate business procedures, raise prices and drive jobs/businesses overseas to more friendly countries. In short, the media’s portrayal of Spitzer as a hero was a farce. Democrats, Spitzer and Nifong played to their base by ruining the lives of people just because they could conjure up class envy in front of a camera.

I know Rudy Giuliani made a name for himself as a prosecutor on the Republican side by taking on high profile cases, but at least he had the guts to do it by taking on the mob.

And yes, the GOP has had its share of sex scandals, but the Republicans have gone about it with trademark frugality. While the Democrat Spitzer paid upwards of $80,000 for his hookers and rented five-star hotel rooms for his dalliances, Republican Larry Craig chose the financially responsible method of looking for free sex in public toilets. Spitzer was caught with an expensive wire tap and Senator Craig by an inexpensive foot tap. Score an economic win for the GOP.

Eliot Spitzer, a Hillary Clinton super delegate, was thought to even be a potential running mate for her. Then came the most embarrassing thing to befall a governor since the other blue state governor of New Jersey, Jim McGreevey, admitted he was gay, and just to reclaim the spotlight, revealed recently that he enjoyed three-ways with his wife and a gay male staffer. A McThreevy if you will.

Reclaiming some middle-ground between the $1,000-a-night hotels that Spitzer used, and the public restroom stalls preferred by Larry Craig, the new Governor of New York, who is both blind and black (which excites liberals to be able to check those two boxes on their PC scorecard), took his women to a Days Inn with campaign money. And nothing says you’re my main state employee mistress than the free boiled eggs at the all-you-can-eat continental breakfast Harlem Days Inn.

And again to be fair here, the GOP governors have had their fair share of embarrassing moments. Need I remind you of the Arnold Schwarzenegger’s movie “Twins” with Danny DeVito?

Hillary was probably going to appoint Spitzer to her cabinet. Hillary is as good at picking her men as Elvis and Priscilla Presley are at picking their doctors. All is not lost for Spitzer, however, as Hillary might now consider him as her spouse.

At least Spitzer seems to have learned from this. With his $2.9-million-in-shakedown-political-contributions war chest, he will be able to pay his legal bills. In addition, since he is a Harvard-trained lawyer, he can still practice law with what he has learned here. Much like prostitution, lawyers charge a lot by the hour and screw clients, so it should be an easy transition for him.

Ron Hart is a Southern libertarian columnist who writes a weekly column about politics and life. He worked for Goldman Sachs and was appointed to The Tennessee Board of Regents by Lamar Alexander. His E-mail: RevRon10@aol.com.