RON HART: One wood, many celebs at Pebble Beach

CARMEL, CALIF. — Last week I crossed the AT&T Pebble Beach Pro-Am Golf Tournament off my bucket list. The old “Bing Crosby Clam Bake,” as it was once called, has always fascinated me.

I had the opportunity for a ringside seat.

In the golden days of Hollywood, Bing Crosby would invite show business buddies who played golf, like Jackie Gleason, Dean Martin, Phil Harris and the like, to join him and touring golf professionals in a fun event at Pebble Beach. This was in a long-gone era of unrepentant golfers and openly Republican Hollywood actors — even Ronald Reagan played in the Crosby.

Of many observations this week, a couple struck me as column-worthy.

First, with stars like Clint Eastwood, Peyton Manning, Ray Romano, Luke Wilson, “Mall-Cop” Kevin James, and the ever-present Bill Murray there, one thing became obvious: It takes a special patience to be famous, and I would not do that very well.

You have to be nice to everyone, unless you are Andy Garcia (I am told), and there are fans who, just because they see you and feel they know you, think they can ask you for anything. They feel they have a call on your time, and I guess in many ways, since they effectively pay your salary, they do.

Where to draw the line has long perplexed celebrities.

I would be more like Jack Nicholson and probably take a 7 iron to someone in short order. My goal is to be just famous enough to get a kidney if I need one and to be assured that I would not be convicted by a Los Angeles jury. Beyond that, you are asking for a complete lifestyle change.

Clearly, I am not on the verge of this worry. Justin Timberlake, who is a great guy, played in the group ahead of mine each day. As he was “bringing sexy back,” my group did everything we could in his wake to counteract that.

At this event and in Carmel in general, Clint Eastwood is king.

While all of us were angsting about what to wear to a party whose invitation said “California Casual,” our host Clint Eastwood walked in looking like an unmade bed. His hair was sticking up like he just woke up and he had on running shoes and blue jeans with a hunting coat. It was cool in a way that no one but Clint Eastwood could pull off.

An attendee noted, “One thing that strikes you about Clint Eastwood is that he looks just like Clint Eastwood.” I guess that’s the definition of an icon. You would not want to have a staring contest with this man.

Only 25 of the 160 teams made the cut. Peyton Manning missed by one shot. Kenny G, who looks like wet French poodle, made the cut. Surprisingly, he plays to a scratch.

It was a blustery day and the tournament was called off Sunday. In fact we were out on the course at Pebble for seven hours on Saturday in winds so strong that former Governor Blagojevich’s hair would have actually moved.

President Obama was invited to the ATT by some of his Hollywood actor buddies.  Instead, he chose to commemorate Lincoln’s birthday by visiting Ford’s Theater for a play. Perhaps there he was reminded of the risk of turning his back on a B-list actor. While he may hate everything golf represents, Obama has to concede that we golfers have made more use of electric carts than any of his environmentalist friends.

Golf is often said to be a measure of a man. Nick Faldo, who gave Peyton Manning an unsolicited “walk-by” lesson on the practice range right before tee time (a major golfing no-no), is taller than I thought. But, since Faldo is European and they use the metric system, we Americans have no idea how to measure him.

One of the most memorable lines of a memorable week came from one of the comedians who said he was tired because he was on crack — not so much from the crack, but from having to stay up all night to steal car radios. Guys with a sense of humor who play golf in nice places: Now that is my idea of a good time.

Playing golf at Pebble Beach, which is arguably the most spectacular meeting of land and sea in this country, can humble the proudest of men — even celebrities.
 
Ron Hart is a Southern libertarian columnist who writes a weekly column about politics and life. His E-mail is RevRon10@aol.com