RON HART: John Edwards: A Tail of Two Americas

John Edwards: A Tail of Two Americas

By Ron Hart   
 
“It is completely untrue.” — John Edwards, 10/11/07, when asked about affair with Rielle Hunter
 
In a May 2007 column, I said that John Edwards should be eliminated from the Democratic presidential field because he was the “worst of the worst.” So when he said that there are “two Americas,” we know now what many knew then: there are two John Edwardses.

The same narcissism that made him think he could charge a $400 haircut to his campaign got him into this mess with his girlfriend, New Age spiritualist Rielle Hunter.

And who better to seduce a narcissist like Edwards than Rielle, a paid campaign biographer with a camera always at the ready? What are the odds that there is not a sex tape? Edwards is only hoping that if she releases such a tape, she does it in the “other America” — not the one in which his wife and the press live.

In justifying himself (another need for a narcissist), he said he got a deal on the haircut from “stylist to the stars” Torreneueva of Beverly Hills, the artist who administered the coifed masterpiece on Edwards’ head. I am not sure how a $400 haircut is a “deal,” but let’s give him credit for admitting, when caught (which is the only time these guys admit anything), that the haircut was a mistake. A mistake, to Edwards’ way of thinking, primarily because he did not like the way Torreneueva feathered his bangs.

This revelation (actually reported 11 months ago, but ignored by the liberal media since Edwards was one of their own) is certainly not the reason I have long disliked John Edwards. It is not for his maudlin false modesty and ability to rinse and repeat with conditioner like no other.
Edwards is the “worst” to me because he is the quarterback of the Democratic Party playbook on class envy. This divisive tactic appeals to one of the worst aspects of human nature, wanting to take something from someone else. The Bible calls it envy and theft; politicians call it taxation and redistribution.

Envy is one of the Seven Deadly Sins. Envy is more forbidden than adultery, which did not make the Seven Deadly Sins’ list, the “CliffsNotes” to the 10 Commandments. I think Bill Clinton issued an Executive Order removing it when he was president.

When envy is fueled by the media and low-life politicians, it can consume people. It causes them to feel that they have been screwed over, which is not an empowering or constructive feeling.

I am reminded of Jack Handy’s Deep Thought on the subject of envy: “It is easy to say that you would like to have more money. And I guess that is what I like about it. It’s easy. Just sitting there, rocking back and forth, wanting that money.”

For those people, there are opportunistic politicians like John Edwards, ready to exploit their sloth. Come to think of it, sloth is a deadly sin too.
Second only to lobbyists, women who have had affairs with politicians wield the most influence on government.

For politicians like Democrats Eliot Spitzer, Gov. David Patterson of N.Y., John Edwards, Jesse Jackson, Bill Clinton, Gary Hart, former Gov. Jim McGreevey of N.J., Gary Condit, Ted Kennedy, John Kennedy — and Republicans in almost equal measure — cheating on their wives, I believe, has actually saved marriages. There is no telling how many marriages have been salvaged by a man or woman venturing an affair and realizing how much worse there is out there.

Elizabeth Edwards always seemed to be a smart, sincere, kind and loyal woman.

This was not lost on the opportunistic plaintiffs’ attorney John Edwards, who used her and her cancer as a campaign prop. The Edwardses actually renewed their wedding vows in 2007.

Perhaps Elizabeth should have let them expire, or maybe she should ponder the view of my family. I asked my aunt once why there were no divorces in our family. She said we Harts have killings, but no divorces — they save time and money.

The Democratic Party leadership, always staking out the moral high ground, took notice and removed John Edwards from their convention’s speaker list, replacing him with Bill Clinton. The life lesson that we need to learn from this move is that you cannot get away with being unfaithful if you have a likable wife.
Affairs are nothing new.

It would be news if one of these guys had not had an affair. The same goes for celebrities who support Democrats. When he had his recent car wreck, Morgan Freeman was not Driving his Mrs. Daisy. There are far more reasons to dislike the John Edwardses of the world than this recent affair.

Ron Hart is a southern humorist and political columnist. He worked for Goldman Sachs and was appointed to the Tennessee Board of Regents by Lamar Alexander. He is a Florida resident and can be reached at RevRon10@aol.com.