RON HART: 2008 — a look back on a year to forget

Having ADD, I often start projects that I never really ever began. Therefore, I enjoy writing my annual year-end summary in short, unorganized blurbs which need not be well thought out. I am accomplished at not thinking things out.

1. Proving that greed and naiveté often combine to separate people from their money, Bernie Madoff made off with about $50 billion of rich New Yorkers’ money, thereby replacing Mahmoud Ahmadinejad as the most hated man among the  Jewish community. Madoff is under penthouse arrest at his $8 million Park Avenue home. That should send a clear message to those who might contemplate such a crime. Even with their budget tripled since the Enron debacle, the SEC missed this one.

2. President Bush leaned to the left only twice in 2008, both times to avoid an incoming shoe thrown at him in Iraq. He had to go there himself to finally discover footwear of mass destruction. The last time that W leaned to the left so quickly, we ended up with a trillion-dollar, incomplete, prescription drug entitlement. Sadly, learning to dodge items thrown at him this late in his presidency shows he was woefully unprepared for office. Conversely, Bill Clinton learned to dodge lamps and ashtrays hurled at him by Hillary in his first term as Governor of Arkansas.

3. It became an article of faith among the left that Barack Obama was going to turn the USA into Cuba. Fortunately, he has so far proven to be Clinton 2.0 and much more conservative than his Kool-Aid drinkers expected. His wife even wears J Crew clothes. At this rate, he will be the first African-American president buried at the Reagan Library.

4. The good news about Barack Obama becoming president is that it diminishes the prominence of poverty pimps like Jesse Jackson; arguably, it is also the worst thing to happen to Jesse since DNA paternity testing was perfected.

5. Always the Jackie O wanna-be, Michelle Obama announced her Inauguration clothing designers. When asked what designer’s shoes she would be wearing, she said “Jimmy Choo.” Either that or she sneezed right after the question.

6. Earlier in the year one of the rising stars in the Democratic party, Eliot Spitzer, got into trouble for being a hooker enthusiast, which cut short his career. There were so many left undone: Mercedes, Kitty, Crystal, KiKi ... On a happier note, every bad event has its winners. I have a friend in New York City whom Mrs. Spitzer used to get back at Eliot.

7. The GOP showed some backbone for the first time in six years when they would not leave the House floor as they protested the Democrats’  “no drilling” ban. Nancy Pelosi had to turn off the lights on them in what many in the GOP leadership called courageous; Senator Larry Craig just called it romantic.

8. Olympic star Marian Jones admitted to using steroids at the pinnacle of her career. As of this writing, no such admission has been made by Rosie O’Donnell.

9. New York Mayor Bloomberg and his high-tax, social engineering political colleagues have decided to tax sugared colas and caffeine drinks in hopes of ridding America of its worst nightmare: a fat New York kid who stays up all night.

10. Fidel Castro stepped down once his successor Obama was elected, both men thereby ending rule for decades of a country by one family. The dictator of Cuba surprised the world with this, and then astounded us even more by announcing he would retire in Miami Beach.

11. Doing nothing to dispel stereotypes about Southerners, Jamie Lynn Spears gave birth to a baby girl who, in turn, gave birth to a boy by year’s end. Aunt Britney took time off to be with the kids and to teach them to smoke.

12. Upon further review, Sarah Palin proved to me that she should not be the future of the GOP since she is so much like the past. I am as fearful of her Religious Right side of the Party as she is of a follow-up question.

13. Caroline Kennedy, John Kerry, Ted Kennedy and Oprah endorsed Obama early in his campaign against Hillary and Clinton, Inc., providing him with an early boost. There is a good chance that they may all end up in a mass grave in Arkansas soon.

14. Despite transparent political pandering and palpable tension, Barack Obama appointed Hillary Clinton as Secretary of State, but only after careful vetting by the Obama transition team confirmed that she had no romantic links to Bill Clinton.

15. In an historic first, both Presidential candidates appeared on “WWE Raw” wrestling. Many think politicians appearing on wrestling shows diminishes the dignity of the political discourse. Others of us feel it cheapens professional wrestling.

Ron Hart is a southern libertarian columnist who can be reached at: RevRon10@aol.com