A compilation of "knitting" puns — a few "purls" of wisdom.

Allow me to keep you in "stitches." May I pull the wool over your eyes?

OK. Let's get down to the knitty-gritty. Let me be a knit picker.

I saw a sewing store sign that read, “Deweknit.”

People have tried to explain the importance of needlework, but I don't get the point.

My needle addiction has led me to "hooking."

Are you a member of the Y.A.A? Yarn Addicts Anonymous.

Wool you please just let me knit in peace.

Behind every great knitter is a huge stash of yarn.

Baa, baa black sheep have "ewe" any wool?

Is it true that knitters send "wool done cards to each other?

When I'm knitting, I'm unraveling.

Yarn — a word to which the word enough does not apply.

I don't like to get personal, but are you a happy hooker?

Balls of wool like to take vacations so that they can unwind.

Christmas trees are bad at knitting. They are always dropping their needles.

Get the point?

I love to crochet. They say at the start it hooks you right in, but with knitting, you needle help.

I can't pearl. Only oysters know how to do that.

I guess you might say that with all these corny pun jokes on knitting that I am a knit wit.

All knitters have close knit families.

My dad bought my mom a car with cruise control and as she is driving down the highway she pulls out knitting needles and begins to knit. A highway patrol officer passes by and notices that she doesn't have her hands on the wheel. He pulls up close and yells, "pullover." And she replied, "No, it's a cardigan!"

Just after thimbles were invented, there was a major shortage. Many sewers got stuck without one.

My mother was always happy to be making a new pair of pants for me. Or at least, it seamed sew.

Sewers like playing with scissors just for the shear fun of it.

Saw a sign that read, “Criminal with sewing machine at large." This person seams to follow the same pattern in several towns, the police declared.

"Knit" happens.

What has one eye and can't see? A needle.

I'm sew very happy to be writing this column.

But I am running out of "material,” so I had better stop.

Patrick McAlpine is a self-described “edutainer” and a Canadian Snowbird from Ottawa. Submit your jokes or smiles to fribbitty@hotmail.com.