From a lady sheep to her hubby — Ewe are one in a million.
Orca — Whale you be mine?
Lady pig to better half — I love you sow much.
Coffee — Words just can't expresso how much I love you.
Vietnamese noodles — You're the one pho me.
The fierce Norseman — I've taken a Viking to you.
The melting chocolate — I'm fondue you.
From a keyboard to significant other — You're just my type.
Honey — would you bee mine.
The baker to his sweetheart — I knead you.
Freshly grown marijuana — Weed go well together.
Seamen to their sweeties, — I warship you.
Chinese cookies — I would spend a fortune on you.
Imagine what the famous philosopher Immanuel Kant said to his honey — I Kant get along without you.
My wife wanted a puppy for Valentines' Day. I didn't want to get her a puppy for this special day, so we compromised. We got a puppy.
Friend's wife wanted a foreign vehicle for this special day. So, he bought her a rickshaw.
My first job was as a "diesel fitter" at a pantyhose factory. Never had to worry about a Valentine’s present for my wife because I could pull a pair off the line and say "Diesel fitter!"
My wife asked me just for Valentine’s Day to stop looking like a flamingo. So, I put my foot down.
Don't fall in love with a pastry chef. She'll only dessert you.
Roses are red, violets are blue; Even though you have selective hearing, I still love you.
Chicken wing companies have specials for lovers on this special day. They advertise -— Love at first bite. They claim that sharing chicken wings with your mate early in the relationship shows you are ready to be vulnerable with that person because you will have food and sauce all over your face.
More interesting valentines
On a scale of 1-10, you are a 9. Why? Because, I am the 1 you're missing.
I am not a photographer, but I can picture us together.
Hi, my name is Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?
Another time I gave her some Chapstick and wrote on the card, I'm stuck on you.
A few years ago I sent her a red flower and wrote, "I'd pick you any day."
When we were first married, I sent her a lottery ticket and on the card it said," I love you a whole lotto."
Would you believe I gave her a clothes pin and said, "I'd like to hang out with you today.’
Sent my wife a deck of cards for Valentine’s Day and wrote on them, “Here are 52 things I love about you."
Remember fellows, all we need is love, but a little chocolate today will not hurt.
Patrick McAlpine is a self-described “edutainer” and a Canadian Snowbird from Kanata, Ontario, Canada. Submit your jokes or smiles to firstname.lastname@example.org.