Snowbird Sillies: Stores make punny signs

Patrick McAlpine
Patrick McAlpine

While driving the streets of Walton County, I noticed some pretty punny business signs on store fronts. Maybe you have seen some of these and others.

On a women’s shop — “Don’t take pot luck; have your girdle custom made.”

A shoe repair shop — “We’ll save your sole and gladly dye for you.”

On the side of a window shade delivery van — “A blind man is driving this truck.”

On the door of the conference center at Seascape, there appeared a sign — “After all is said and done, more is said than done.”

At the hospital on U.S. 98 — “Give blood — it is meant to be circulated.”

On a plumbers’ truck — “Sooner or later, ya’ have to pay the piper.”

On a window of a restaurant in Destin Commons — “Eat now, pay waiter.”

As one enters the Donut Hole restaurant — Don’t stand outside and be miserable. Come on in and get fed up.”

Resurrection Catholic Church posts a sign — “This church is prayer conditioned.”

At the reducing salon — “A moment on the lips, an eternity on the hips.”

An appliance store ad — “Don’t kill your wife. Let our washing machines do the dirty work.”

At the fish museum, there is a sign — “Come in and browse to your arts content.” Something fishy about that one.

Fort Walton lumber company — “Come on in and see what we saw.”

Watch store sign — “If it doesn’t tick, tock to us.”

Child nursery sign — “Wee care.”

On a septic tank truck, I saw “Yesterdays meals on wheels.”

On a plastic surgeon’s front window — “We want to pick your nose. Think that’s punny, well, it  snot.”

Saw an ad in The Destin Log classified section which read “Braille dictionary for sale. Must see to appreciate.”

Outside the high school it says “Time passes, will you?”

Hurricane Bowling Lanes sign — “While on our premises, keep your mind out of the gutter.” “In here, you can hear a pin drop.”

On walking into an optometrists office, i noticed this sign — “If you can’t find what you are looking for, you’ve come to the right place.”

The muffler shop on 98 advertises “You don’t need an appointment, we can hear you coming.”

Funeral home — “Drive carefully. We can wait.”

A Destin electrical truck — “Let us remove your shorts.”

Patrick McAlpine is a self-described “edutainer” and a Canadian Snowbird from Ottawa. Submit your jokes or smiles to