SNOWBIRD SILLIES: Snowbird football fans … what an exciting year

Patrick McAlpine
Patrick McAlpine

Embarrassing though if you are a Cleveland Browns' fan. Not a good year. Record 0 and 16.

At the FirstEnergy Stadium, the heat is unbearable. All the fans are gone.

The team doesn't have a website because they can't put three WWW's together.

In case there is a "tornado" in that area, everyone goes to the Browns' stadium because there is never a "touchdown" there. It's safe there.

Ducks fly over the stadium upside down. It's not worth "crapping on."

The Cleveland quarterback Deshone Kizer can't use his phone anymore because he can't find the receiver.

The Post Office and the Browns have something in common. Neither deliver on Sunday.

All the other teams enjoy playing against the Browns because it is just like another week off.

Even the Cleveland police are involved. When handing out speeding tickets in the area, the first offense is two tickets to the Browns’ game. Second offense, they demand that you go to the game.

The Browns’ coach has been seen shaking the cigarette machines in the stadium, trying to get some players.

Browns players claim to have the "swine flu" so that they don't have to touch the pigskin.

One fan took his broken vacuum cleaner back to where he bought it and they put a Browns' sweater on top of it and it still "sucks."

There is a Browns' logo on their plane so that creates a major problem. It can't "touchdown."

Browns' fans don't despair. Have faith because we have been taught that the "first shall be last and the last shall be first." Top of the league next year.

Patrick McAlpine is a self-described “edutainer” and a Canadian Snowbird from Ottawa. Submit your jokes or smiles to