LOCAL

SNOWBIRD SILLIES: Firefighter snowbirds

Patrick McAlpine
Patrick McAlpine

There are several firefighter snowbirds. Allow me to provide you with a compilation of firefighter pun-ishment. Let me warm the cockles of your heart.

It is said that firefighters climb the corporate ladder knowing that some day they may get fired.

Is it true that firefighters are always in heat? They often get alarmed at peoples' burning desires.

Do women firefighters suffer hot flashes on the job?

Do they really want firefighters in hell?

One snowbird fireman, Bill Pasel, former president of the Destin Snowbirds, told his teacher that he wanted to be a fireman. She told him to" go to blazes."

One firefighter friend of mine quit the department because she couldn't stand the heat.

Firefighting is one of the few professions left that still makes house calls. Hug a firefighter and feel warm all over.

Firefighters' motto — put the wet stuff on the red stuff.

Man calls the fire department and begins with, "I just had my lawn landscaped with a new flower bed and a fish pond with a fountain and a rose garden."

The dispatcher then inquired, "Why are you calling the fire department?"

The man replied, "The house next door is on fire and I don't want you trampling my new lawn and ornaments."

If there is H2O inside the fire hydrant, then what is on the outside? K9P.

For Christmas, the firefighter's wife got a ladder in her stocking.

My uncle gets a warm reception wherever he goes. It's not that he is that popular. It's because he's a fireman.

What did fireman Bill say when he saw the local church on fire? "Holy smokes."

Talked to a snowbird who complained about people banging on her door and telling her that "she needed to be saved" or "else she would burn." But I told her that firefighters have to do their job.

A little fellow was watching his mom cook and a fire broke out on the stove. Mom shouted to him to call 911 which he did. The dispatcher asked him, "How do we get there?" The kid replied, "Don't you have any more of those big red trucks?"

On an elementary school field trip, the bus went by the fire station. Sitting on the front seat of the fire truck was a huge Dalmation. One kid asked, "Why is the dog sitting there?" Another kid answered and said, "It's to hold back the crowds at the

fire." "Oh, no," said another kid..." Those dogs are used to find the fire hydrants."

A firewoman had twins. One was called Hosea and the other Hoseb.

Aren't we lucky to have firefighters looking after our best interests? Thank you.

Patrick McAlpine is a self-described "edutainer" and a Canadian snowbird from Ottawa. He’ll be writing a weekly humor column with The Destin Log. Submit your jokes or smiles to fribbitty@hotmail.com.