COLUMNS

HART: State of the Race — convention wisdom

Ron Hart
Ron Hart

Donald Trump sewed up the Republican nomination by appealing to those tired of Washington insiders’ self-dealings and to disaffected blue-collar workers whose pay has gone lower under the Democrats’ open borders and slow growth economy. Now Trump has his work cut out for him to win over a key demographic holdout: the GOP.

Trump did get some prominent Republicans to fall into line lately with a simple plan. He demolished all of their other 16 options.

He shored up conservative support by releasing a list of 11 judges he would appoint to the Supreme Court; each reflects his judicial temperament. Fortunately, he had many options for his pool of Trump-like judges; most on his list will be available because American Idol went off the air this year.

The Democrat campaign of envy and hate continues as Hillary and Bernie’s Antiques Roadshow goes from town to town. Bernie is sticking around because he knows Hillary should be indicted over her email crimes. And at 74, Bernie has coeds following him everywhere screaming his name, and he just doesn’t want it to end.

College kids are scared to death they might have to pay for something someday, so they flock to the socialist’s campaign. Bernie’s shtick plays well to a generation of college kids that have been given everything except discipline and drive.

Bernie won Oregon; he wins pretty much any state where weed is legal. He actually crushed Hillary in Oregon. She finished fourth behind a hacky sack and a pair of Birkenstocks. Sanders won West Virginia and said he thought he did so by winning the black vote there. It turns out they were coal miners voting against Hillary, but a win is a win.

In fact, Sanders has won 19 of the last 25 state primaries and caucuses (not a typo). For a man with "no chance of winning," he seems to win a lot. Party insiders who created this rigged, Byzantine, Democrat Party nomination system calculate that, if Sanders can just win the rest of the states, Hillary will get the Democrat nomination by a landslide.

Things are so bad that Hillary had to change her slogan to “Stronger Together” because way too many signs with her old slogan, “Ready For Hillary,” were appearing in front of federal prisons.

Bernie Sanders should have a new slogan himself: "This soap opera ain’t over until her staffers sing about the fat lady to the FBI."

Hillary cannot fully devote her time to trashing Trump with Bernie nipping at her pantsuit. She is getting help from her staffers at the NY Times and Washington Post to attack Trump by concocting stories making him out to be a sexist. They are painting Trump as a congenital philanderer and liar. Hillary doesn’t know which instinct to go with here: run negative ads against Trump or marry him.

I fully believe Trump will abolish many of the 650-odd duplicative agencies in D.C. But after reading the NY Times hit piece on him, I feel certain that he will be the first president to appoint a “Federal Bikini Inspector.” Further, I expect he will elevate it to a Cabinet-level position in his second term.

Bernie Sanders, a geezer who once wrote creepy soft-core porn, has a "women issue," too. Sanders addressed it by saying “he has his girl looking into it.”

The pundits' two articles of faith were that Hillary would quickly wrap up the nomination and that Trump’s campaign would be marred by violence until the GOP convention. The opposite is true. Hillary has a battle all the way to the DNC convention. And all the violence and drama the media said were a part of the Trump campaign have actually been the trademark of Democrat gatherings.

The site of the Democrat National Convention is liberal stronghold Philadelphia. After more violent events at the Nevada Democrat state convention, the mayor of Philadelphia is trying to beef up police presence for the upcoming national gathering. But, like most Democrat-run cities, Philly is in a financial mess and its police force is in shambles. Since the city is too broke to pay cops overtime to work the convention, the police have been asked to come to the convention to beat up Sanders’ supporters for sport, to become a part of history, and for a chance to be on TV.

A libertarian op-ed humorist and award-winning author, Ron’s a frequent guest on CNN. He can be contacted at Ron@RonaldHart.com or @RonaldHart on Twitter.