HART: The Winter Olympics: Make them stop

Ron Hart
Ron Hart

The Olympic Winter Games began, as they always do, with the Parade of Nations — many of which we have yet to invade. By parading like that in those loud outfits, however, they just seem to be asking for it.

VP Mike Pence went, with his wife of course, as there are only Asian massage parlors there. With tensions high between North and South Korea, I was afraid these were going to be the Nuclear Winter Olympics. Yet I knew we would not attack North Korea before these Games. I bet when we leave after the Olympics, North Koreans will have to pay their dry cleaning bills up front.

The Winter Games seem unnecessary. No doubt many of you love the Games, and I respect that, but I’m not a fan. They seem more like a rich white family’s winter ski vacation in Aspen rather than real sports.

Instead of every four years, I suggest holding the Winter Games every 10, which would be just often enough to remind people why we only hold them once every 10 years. Better yet, cancel them entirely and see if anyone notices. I bet even Dick Button wouldn't care.

The Winter Games are like soccer and recycling: Americans act like they are into them, but we really aren’t. If not for NBC’s maudlin biographies of obscure athletes and all they have “overcome” (backed by the theme from "Chariots of Fire"), few of us would watch. Any event like curling that risks America being beaten by Iceland should be eliminated — or at least not broadcast to the free world.

The bobsled event, which I think was invented by Robert Sled, is also not really a sport. It is more like a winter activity. How can it be a sport when only white guys do it? Is it really a big deal when a guy gets on a sled, points his toes, and lets gravity take over? I am sure there is more to it, but no reasonable person I know wants to take the time to find out.

At least the Summer Games have some underpinnings of real athleticism. Running, jumping, boxing and basketball all seem like worthwhile international competitions, and, therefore, we field our best athletes.

The Olympics date back to ancient Greece, but only in Summer Games form. The Greeks realized they could humiliate the loser of a contest much longer if they did not throw him to the lions, but just gave him a bronze medal instead. The ancient Olympic Games were performed in the nude, with a 50-50 chance that one of the contestants would die if he lost. NBC’s ratings were high back then.

Russia had to sit out the games for doping and cheating in previous Olympics. Gold Meddling. Many liberals were horribly disappointed that they could not tie the scandal to Trump. But here's the shocker: If you cannot trust a totalitarian communist regime headed by the former head of the KGB, whom can you trust? Most Russian athletes are banned from the 2018 Olympics, but they should be able to play in the 2020 U.S. elections.

Ron Hart, a libertarian syndicated op-ed humorist, award-winning author and TV/radio commentator can be reached at or visit