SNOWBIRD SILLIES: Interesting ’signs’ throughout North America

Patrick McAlpine
Patrick McAlpine

A sign in a restaurant window — Eat Now, Pay Waiter.

At a golf course country club — Putt an end to your troubles.

Vegetable stand — Eat our corn on the cob and smile from ear to ear.

Saw this one on a real estate agent's car — Site Seeing Bus.

Undertakers' window — We arrange everything but the date.

Obstetrician's office — Pay as you Grow.

Can I sign you up for a few groans?

On a church bulletin board — Work for the Lord. The pay is not much, but the retirement plan is out of this world.

On a basketball coach's office — This office is closed, but if you can see over the transom, come on in.

A pagers' company sign — We're at your beep and call.

Rope Incorporated ad — Knot your ordinary company.

Honey farm claim — Our grade of honey is rated bee-plus.

Picture frame company sign — We want to hang around your house.

A glue company ad — Our customers always stick with us.

Sign in a marriage counselor's window — "Out to lunch!" think it over.

Antique shop — Come on in and buy what your grandmother threw out.

On the back of a florist truck — Caution, we make fragrant stops.

Music shop sign — Gone Chopin, Bach in a minuet.

Pawn shop sign — See us at your earliest inconvenience.

Travel agency window — Please go away.

Tire shop ad — We skid you not.

Hospital maternity ward door — Push, Push, Push.

Barbershop — We stand behind our work.

Dairy company truck — You can whip our cream but you can't beat our milk.

Funeral parlor — Satisfaction or your mummy back.

A sign on an electrical truck — Let us remove your shorts.

Taxidermist sign — We really know our stuff.

Used car lot — Second hand cars in first crashed condition.

Muffler shop — No appointment needed. We can hear you coming.

Diner window — Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up.

Veterinarians office — Be back in five minutes. Sit, stay.

Kosher restaurant — Lox, Stock & Bagel.

In a prosecutor's office — If at first you don't convict, try, try again.

The bodybuilding academy — The weak ends here.

Computer store — Out for a quick byte.

Maybe you have a few others. Let me hear from you.

Patrick McAlpine is a self-described “edutainer” and a Canadian Snowbird from Kanata, Ontario, Canada. Submit your jokes or smiles to