A milquetoast Super Bowl with a dry pre-party

Staff Writer
The Destin Log

Matt’s Take:

The Super Bowl is almost as American as apple pie and Tom Petty.

With the championship game coming to us from New Jersey this year, which should say enough about the game already, the Super Bowl committee announced that it’s taking game day safety to the next level.

There will be no tailgating this year, unless you can fit your entire tailgating rig into the dimensions of a single parking space, which includes your car.

No tailgating? Are you crazy? What the hell is the NFL thinking?

Oh, and I forgot to mention that you also cannot walk to the Super Bowl, you cannot be dropped off, or you cannot fly a personal helicopter and land on the field.

Don’t worry, the decision wasn’t made easily, I’m sure. We all know the NFL is about making money, and what better way to do it than to eliminate parking lot fare?

If you can’t eat in the parking lot, you are more likely to spend $10 on a hotdog, $12 on a beer and $10 on some crumbled chips covered in canned cheese sauce parading as “nachos.”

It’s American capitalism at its finest.

Why not take advantage of the average Joe that’s already willing to part with $1,000 on a ticket to the biggest game of the year?

Sure, it sounds wretched. But the NFL is a business and they are protecting their bottom line. If you could hold the biggest party of the year in your backyard and charge a ridiculous entrance fee, wouldn’t you do the same?

I mean, come on. It totally makes sense.

Remember, this is the NFL we are talking about. They don’t call it the No Fun League without good merit.

Hurray for the American Dream!

Andrew’s Take:

I’m having a really hard time defending my city of residence.

Super Bowl XLVIII, in New York/New Jersey, is already arriving with unprecedented skepticism (weather), why drive the nail into the coffin? Especially when other northern, outdoor venues would like to host the world’s largest annual, televised event.

According to the game’s CEO, Al Kelly, there will be no tailgating.

No grilling. No tossing the pigskin. NO DRINKING.

“Andrew, it’s really sad that you feel that it’s necessary to become intoxicated for these activities.”

Yeah, so what? I demand a few drinks before I walk into a football game.

Enough of this culture where Americans are victimized by an inability to control their actions. Yes, I know that alcoholism is real, and I understand that certain people are more medically predisposed to chemical dependencies. But some of us do not suffer from such a condition, and maintain the ability to appropriately communicate when “under-the-influence.”

Whether you like it or not, drinking is a part of America’s most popular sport. That’s just how it works.

And if you can’t drink outside your vehicle, you can’t drink until you enter the game, because drinking inside you vehicle is illegal.

Financially, I get it. A New York City Super Bowl comes with logistical implications that no other city has to consider. And without cooperation from the transportation departments of both states, this unique venue would not have been feasible. The states of New York and New Jersey have no real financial repercussions if the Super Bowl attendees do not have a pleasant time.

Also, it makes sense, that Kelly would prevent fans from consuming alcoholic beverages in the parking lot, so that they spend more money inside MetLife.

But, there has to be a line drawn. This is THE game where your “patriot” button should be pressed.

Positive fan experience equals more money for everyone.